Dad Energy

wife said we need a "budget" and "a plan" and "to stop buying grills"

i have grilled every meal this week including cereal

kid: dad can i have a cookie me: what did mom say kid: she said ask dad me: what did dad say kid: [long pause] ...you are dad me: [long pause] ...you can have a cookie

car mechanic: it's the transmission me: [nods, has no idea what a transmission is] mechanic: it'll be $4200 me: [nods, has no idea if that's fair] mechanic: also your brakes are fine me: [begins to weep]

kid: what's a mortgage me: it's when you buy a house and the bank keeps some of it kid: how much me: most of it, for a long time kid: for how long me: [staring into the middle distance] forever, buddy. forever.

"can i speak to a manager" - me, to my 8 year old, after being told i can't have the last popsicle in my own house

letting the kids stay up for the moon landing. they will be feral tomorrow. worth it.